Friday, February 22, 2013

Fashionable Friday: War Paint

Gentlemen and Ladies Who Don't Care For Makeup: THIS IS YOUR WARNING. The following post is devoted to Sephora, a.k.a. Straight Man Hell. Leave this place. 

Do it now.

Are the dudes gone? Good.

LADIES: Sephora just announced their newest Disney line: The Jasmine Collection. I can hardly contain myself - my favorite store featuring pretty things based on my favorite princess? Genius. I am a sucker for pretty things - especially when they have the Disney Princess endorsement. Especially especially when that princess is Jasmine.

She's just the most.

Right now, none of it is available in stores. But if you're a Beauty Insider member, you can order it from the website. I'm going to wait for the line to come out in stores - I want to see it all in person.

The first thing anyone notices about Jasmine are her boobs eyes, so naturally there's a liner set.

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Once you have the perfect, dramatic cat-eye, it's time to color in the lines. There are two eyeshadow palettes in the collection - the deluxe Storylook...

If the tray comes out and the rest is a keepsake box, I will faint.
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...and the more modest Magic Carpet Ride:

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I've gotta say - for the money, Storylook seems like a much better deal. But either way, the colors are based on the movie's animation, which makes me want to weep.

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If you're a nail polish junkie, then this is your poison:

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I'm still recovering from getting the entire Muppets OPI collection, so I'll probably pass on the lacquers. But I love the light blue (excuse me, "Blue Oasis").

I don't feel like royalty unless I smell like it, so fragrance is very important to me. Of course, there's a perfume to complete the Eastern ambiance. And don't worry - it is not jasmine scented (whew!). I don't do floral perfumes; they make me feel like I'm allergic to myself. It does seem to have some floral topnotes (carnation, orange blossom), but it's over a base of vanilla and sandalwood, so there's hope.

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Or, if you are a diva and love beautiful things, you can get the perfumed body shimmer, which has the same scent, but will make you sparkle like the beautiful desert diamond you truly are. Also, it comes in a gorgeous old-fashioned bottle with one of those air puff things that Greta Garbo totally used. I just know she did.

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Very Excellent Boyfriend is pathologically afraid of glitter, but I really don't care. He can suck it up while I swirl around like a diamond in the rough.

When you're all dolled-up and ready to go (or whenever you feel like checking-in with your favorite lady), you can take a gander at yourself with the Palace Jewel Compact Mirror:

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Uugh, so beautiful. It hurts.

Sorry if this all sounded a bit like bad copywriting - when I get excited, I tend to wax corny descriptive.

I'm a poor kid, so I don't know if I'll be able to splurge on any of this stuff, but I will definitely go to the store and play around with it all, and when I do there will be pictures and words about the experience. Actually, I have a coupon for a free 45-minute makeover - maybe I'll get Jasmified by a professional!

I'd better get on that, actually - Aladdin is going to Broadway, and this little white girl wants in.

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